GUILT IS ALSO A PLEASURE

May 07, 2022 - 8:40PM

keep having dreams where You and I are getting married ? hugging ? I am holding you and you are holding someone else ? in every dream you say "I shouldn't be doing this" and then you do it anyway - just like you used to do, just like we used to be - I tell people about Us and they are horrified by what they think is a lack of intimacy - no identifying photos - nothing to remember Us by - I swear that anonymity was intimacy unhindered - we could be whoever we wanted - I wanted to be With You - you wanted to be Something Else - in my dreams we don't work out, either - I sob to the rap we used to scream to - I choke up at every geographic anomaly - incognito means I don't know where to avoid until I'm already there - I whisper your name into a fire - I see you everywhere and nowhere. maybe I'll never see you again.

Apr 12, 2022 - 11:58AM

for someone who is anti-academia, i sure have fucked a lot of professors

Apr 11, 2022 - 9:31PM

been thinking a lot about shame as a concept and as a tool to heal yourself & others FROM yrself

Mar 30, 2022 - 8:39PM

"treason, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder "

Mar 29, 2022 - 7:04AM

trying to hang out less with people who talk about themselves more

Mar 08, 2022 - 1:30PM

TENDER-- FUCKED

GENDER-- DUCKED!

Feb 18, 2022 - 2:26PM

just realized i am "the ex who went to jail" for multiple people 😬

(but also many ppl I've dated have been to jail lmao)

(but also some people I've dated have also been dating other people who have also been to jail lmao)

Feb 14, 2022 - 2:14PM

i haven't written anything in like a year bc i haven't gotten published in over year bc i haven't written anything in like a year bc i haven't gotten published in over a year bc i haven't written anything in like

Jan 23, 2022 - 11:13AM

[nonsensical improvisation]

Jan 21, 2022 - 9:22PM

old timey detectives

Jan 21, 2022 - 8:31PM

"you either die or you live long enough to become problematic"

Jan 20, 2022 - 1:22PM

you: getting clients bc you're thin and have boobs

me: not getting clients, also not thin, also don't have boobs

Jan 20, 2022 - 1:21PM

"my dear felon"

Jan 18, 2022 - 6:08PM

Annoying, Transsexual, Cancellation Inevitable

Jan 18, 2022 - 6:08PM

Deprived, Depraved, And Medically Insane

Jan 12, 2022 - 11:00AM

@erik

@erik

@erik

@erik

@erik

@erik

@erik

Jan 04, 2022 - 6:59PM

"positively horny with grief"

Jan 04, 2022 - 11:24AM

got a notice to appear in court for failure to pay restitution lmao excellent very cool very chill

Jan 02, 2022 - 1:54PM

"you hate me, bitch, it's a mutual feeling"

Jan 01, 2022 - 10:38AM

compound w (the stuff you use to get rid of warts) smells exactly like poppers (the stuff you use to have gay sex)

Jan 01, 2022 - 12:48AM

shooting the shit, or as the gays call it, pillow talk

Jan 01, 2022 - 12:44AM

just had the chillest nye of my lYfe

Dec 27, 2021 - 4:34PM

"communist sympathizer and misfit"

Dec 21, 2021 - 8:06PM

"heckling: the world's second oldest profession"

Dec 21, 2021 - 2:59PM

feeling content about my content

Dec 20, 2021 - 7:44PM

"golly, like, what a homo"

Dec 20, 2021 - 1:41PM

just went on a walk without taking meds directly before or after for the first time in literally YEARS :)

Dec 11, 2021 - 6:18PM

should I hate my sister's boyfriend that she's MoVING IN WITH ?? on principle yes or maybe or fill in the blank

Dec 11, 2021 - 6:17PM

just hung out w a bunch of ppl I'd never met b4 at a dear friend's surprise bday party + I think it went well + chill :)

Dec 10, 2021 - 7:17PM

i just made more a minute than i made an hour working customer service lmF A OOO ooo

Dec 10, 2021 - 9:05AM

a man wearing a dirty neon construction sweatshirt driving a beautifully maintained white limo

Dec 09, 2021 - 12:10AM

MORE DANGEROUS THAN A SHOTGUN

Dec 08, 2021 - 12:03PM

putting off pulling my tarot card for today bc i don't wanna get dragged

Dec 07, 2021 - 9:58PM

i like musicals i just don't like Musical Theatre

Dec 07, 2021 - 9:20PM

"stop making your hatred of yourself someone else's problem"

Dec 04, 2021 - 2:44PM

S/P/A/R/K/I/L/L/

Dec 03, 2021 - 9:34AM

relearning how to enjoy kissing

Dec 02, 2021 - 12:46PM

every single dream i have about my cat getting lost we always find each other again <333

Nov 29, 2021 - 9:10PM

"I guess people with criminal records can be poets too__"

Nov 29, 2021 - 6:04PM

"if farts are fair game, so is g0d"

Nov 26, 2021 - 7:47PM

"I shave, sir. I have a driver's license. I've won a couple of fist fights. I've saved a life. I've lain with women. I've been hustled at pool. I've defied my father's wishes. I have broken hearts and I have been heartbroken. So, by all the markers of this society, I am a grown man."

Nov 21, 2021 - 1:11PM

i love how many diy queer pop/rock artists are making moves rn

Nov 21, 2021 - 1:06PM

"they call you a rat because rats will do anything to survive, isn't that right?" -- goodfellas, still.

Nov 18, 2021 - 7:58PM

"that's what the fbi would never understand, that this organization offered protection for people who couldn't go to the cops." -- goodfellas

Nov 16, 2021 - 6:44PM

I can hear tenderqueers talking about how they hate being discriminated against for being tenderqueers and I just threw up. they're unrelated but they feel similar

Nov 16, 2021 - 2:04PM

overheard 2 ppl at the family dollar talking and one was telling the other abt how the girl he's sleeping with said "I suck your dick better than anyone else" as a point towards him being w/ her AND HE SAID TO HIS FRIEND, AT REGULAR TALKING VOLUME, IN THE FAMILY DOLLAR, "I wasn't gonna tell her but that's not even true, like I'm not going to get into it, but she's really full of herself with that" and I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! L A U G H

Nov 16, 2021 - 12:02PM

i guess Being In Recovery means being the person who gets dr+gs stolen from them and not the person who is stealing the dr+gs 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪

Nov 16, 2021 - 11:57AM

"prepare for the lovely unexpected" https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy

Nov 16, 2021 - 11:56AM

TENDERIZE MY HEART

Nov 16, 2021 - 11:31AM

/pop punk band vocals voice/

she says she sa-ays YOURE SO GOOD AT THIS

i say i sa-ay THANKS, IM LITERALLY A PROFESSIONAL, DO YOU THINK U COULD LEAVE ME A REVIEW OR--? /line clicks/ HELLO? HELLOOO?

Nov 14, 2021 - 10:12PM

M A S C //////////// U P

Nov 13, 2021 - 6:06PM

"doors @ 7, orgy @ 8"

Nov 13, 2021 - 11:42AM

Behold!

I come like a thief--

Oh child, you cannot stay awake

this long.

Were you raised to fear yourself

like I was?

Oh darling, a yew-bloom into debt-sin.

Is this not what you wanted?

Creation without limit?

Oh, where are my manners?

Let me introduce you to perdition.

I lay myself on your chest.

My home is your voice.

Child, I am crazed with you.

Oh, strapped for sustenance--

I will consume all you love.

I will consume all who love you.

[revolution and/or revelation]

[revulsion and/or revision]

There is no escape without sleep.

I am a w[hole]. I empty as I fill.

Child, I missed you. I mist you.

I guest you. I ghost you.

I will be your final meal.

I will meet you within the past.

We will walk the aisle

to the altar of the future.

This will be our final communication.

[commission from late 2020, to be played as a game on a website that I can't currently remember the name of but I'll edit this post if I think of it lmao]

Nov 13, 2021 - 8:10AM

being an adult is putting the fitted sheet back on yr bed during sxx instead of just flinging it across the room to be dealt with when the drxgs wear off

Nov 12, 2021 - 6:28PM

some dude just went down the street singing so in love by ed sheeran at the top of his lungs !!!! and it was GOOD n i hope whatever he's got going on is going well

Nov 12, 2021 - 4:01PM

about 10 dogs just started barking outside of my window and it was STARTLING

Nov 12, 2021 - 12:29PM

"When the person you are visiting enters and departs you may exchange a brief kiss and embrace.

No other kissing or hugging is allowed. You may hold hands."

-- CFCF prison website

Nov 12, 2021 - 12:34AM

VENUS IN TAURUS

i left after she

came. already planning on

lying at home, too.

Nov 11, 2021 - 9:14AM

i keep coming back to a convo w/ a friend i had about pulling cards every other day instead of every day and it's a cool concept: less stress of remembering to do something every day, more time to consider how you interact w/ the world thru the lense of that card. i think it would be interesting to document the times the cards speak to me in relation to things happening in my life, so i can see if pulling them is having any significant impact on my quality of life/mental health/etc.

Nov 05, 2021 - 2:37AM

my eye only twitches when I drink energy drinks

Nov 05, 2021 - 12:37AM

""scorched earth""

Nov 01, 2021 - 6:56PM

gender of the day is "fuckshit cousin"

Oct 30, 2021 - 4:44PM

g∅ddamnb i finally have tinnitus i guess ugh

Oct 29, 2021 - 8:20PM

CRYING IN THE 7/11 PARKING LOT,,,, SHE SAID,

"you're like a pot of gold tucked away in a cave just over the crest of a mountain range"

AND THEN SHE SAID,

"a trek to find yet truly so cherishable and view is so worthwhile"

AND I KEPT CRYING BUT IT FELT OKAY I FELT OKAY

Oct 28, 2021 - 7:23PM

alright guys ive scheduled The Surgery* at the end of November !!!!

*gettin part of my spine removed so i can walk properly lmao

Oct 17, 2021 - 7:53PM

pigs grunting

Oct 16, 2021 - 11:37AM

been thinking about the theoretical existence of a lesson plan for something titled I Don't Want You Like A Best Friend: The Overt Saphhic and Quiet Queerness of Taylor Swift's Music, made with info my friends have collected from a decade of Gaylor research 🤔🤔

Oct 16, 2021 - 11:15AM

im not anti-FA, im anti fa la la la la la la la la

Oct 16, 2021 - 11:13AM

wow can't wait for The Surgery*

*severing my torso and getting rid of the rest

Oct 14, 2021 - 9:18PM

my favorite sound in the world is strangers laughing in the distance, it just brings me JOY !

Oct 13, 2021 - 4:46PM

ALL GUILTS ARE PLEASURES

Oct 13, 2021 - 4:46PM

a blessed object that looks like a cursed object

Oct 11, 2021 - 8:50AM

spoiler alert: new simpsons episode sucks

Oct 08, 2021 - 8:06PM

"injury or birth"

Oct 08, 2021 - 5:57PM

2day i also listened to 2 different ppl vent while also making plans w 2 other different ppl

technology has evolved in such a way that im expected to split my attention 4 ways and retain none of the convos and comfort none of my friends rather than do them all individually / less immediately // ya feel ?? i wish my brain would slow down vs. speed up when it would actually be helpful

Oct 08, 2021 - 5:52PM

2day i tasted my homie's breast milk and can confirm it's sweet just like her

Oct 07, 2021 - 2:06PM

acid 222 stimmies 222 cashmonay 222 tattuu (!!!!) "the guy who sells a paperclip and buys a house but the g@y dr*g version"

Oct 06, 2021 - 5:40PM

booking a bunch of tattoo appointments to fill the void in myself that happened after booking a bunch of doctors appointments

Oct 02, 2021 - 9:02PM

i just love markdown it's so kitch

Oct 02, 2021 - 8:58PM

[imperceptible]

Oct 02, 2021 - 4:01PM

s[i/u]n

Oct 02, 2021 - 3:58PM

i said, i know you're tough, you don't have to prove it to me

and then she said, the hardest thing about us is our tattoos

Oct 02, 2021 - 3:55PM

gonna start doing some things differently.

Oct 02, 2021 - 3:54PM

0 DD 777o

Sep 30, 2021 - 5:17PM

"some change cannot be fought, only accepted w/ grace. let yrself move forward, and put this battle behind you."

Sep 30, 2021 - 5:16PM

"a leadership role also demands that you know when to step back"

Sep 30, 2021 - 5:15PM

"there are resources available to you that can only be capitalized upon thru boundless persistence"

Sep 29, 2021 - 9:44PM

fuck, i think i love her, and

Sep 29, 2021 - 9:12PM

am i being followed by the cops or does a cop car just happen to be behind me

Sep 29, 2021 - 9:07PM

The Hole In Me is gettin ROUGH around the edges

Sep 28, 2021 - 2:52PM

reasons i am like Silvio Dante:

Sep 24, 2021 - 9:45PM

im the second smallest cat in the world's second favorite person !!! she falls asleep and wakes up with me like a dream but it's better

Sep 24, 2021 - 9:41PM

WHY is words with friends the only app that still uses my govt name????? it's just RUDE

Sep 23, 2021 - 10:36PM

IF NOT ABLE TO ELIMINATE THE OPTION OF CAPTURE ONE SHOULD AT LEAST MINIMIZE THE OPPORTUNITY FOR IT

Sep 22, 2021 - 9:17PM

ever notice how skinny ppl only ever hang out with other skinny ppl lmao

Sep 21, 2021 - 10:28PM

last 2 nights ive dreamt that i got cancelled,,, @g0d what does it MEAN

Sep 19, 2021 - 5:34PM

they told me it was lox AND creamcheese but they gave me lox-BASED creamcheese 😤

Sep 18, 2021 - 11:06PM

i can be friends w/ppl who dnt always see eye2eye, rite??

Sep 18, 2021 - 9:28PM

where should i leave to?

when am i welcome?

howdoiknowhowdoiknowhowdoiiiiiii

Sep 17, 2021 - 8:59PM

currently: spraying coconut milk whipped cream into my mouth

Sep 16, 2021 - 9:01AM

when ur in a polyam relationship and ur partner cheats on you there's rly no way to quantify or explain it there's just this chasm where trust used to be

Sep 11, 2021 - 7:29PM

horse tranq makes brain feel freshly ironed

Sep 11, 2021 - 9:44AM

woke up from a beautiful dream crying bc it has no basis in reality

Sep 10, 2021 - 9:26PM

IF I REPEAT IT ENOUGH TIMES IT BECOMES TRUE

IF I REPEAT IT ENOUGH TIMES IT BECOMES ALIVE

IF I BELIEVE IT ENOUGH TIMES IT REPEATS

IF I BELIEVE IT REPEATS IT BECOMES ALIVE

IF I BELIEVE IT ALIVE IT BECOMES TRUE

Sep 08, 2021 - 7:21AM

can't beliEVe spotify suggested the playlist "straightedge anthems" to me why the FUCK can't I just bring horse tranquilizers into this HOSPital without being JUDGED

Sep 08, 2021 - 7:16AM

crying in pain b4 bringing someone else to the hospital

Sep 06, 2021 - 8:59PM

talking w/ my lawyer is just thought-crime intervention ya know lmao

Sep 06, 2021 - 8:57PM

i put everything bagel seasoning on rice and it slaps yall

Sep 06, 2021 - 8:56PM

UNEMPLOYED

&&&

UNEMPLOYABLE

&&&

thus,

UNGOVERNABLE

Sep 06, 2021 - 5:26PM

i forgot how much i love cucumbers, esp persian cucumbers

Sep 05, 2021 - 10:33PM

i understand why this book is an international success but the author describes women so rudely that it barely seems worth it

Sep 02, 2021 - 10:37PM

YOU CAN TRY BUT I WONT GO QUIET

IN THE BACK OF A COP CAR

YOU CAN TRY BUT I WONT GO QUIET

I N T H E B A C K O F A C O P C A R

Sep 02, 2021 - 5:34PM

IF I CANT HAVE LOVE I WANT POWER

Sep 02, 2021 - 2:01PM

do you think jinxing is real? Like talking about stuff will scare it away from happening?

Sep 02, 2021 - 1:39PM

sex is just a weapon that you won't have to use a lot if you're any good at it

Aug 30, 2021 - 11:56PM

can we please start cancelling poets I wanna duke it out in the arena like g0ds

Aug 30, 2021 - 11:48PM

having relationships that change and grow to contain the experiences of that friendship is a blessing. I am learning how to accept support from anywhere even if it is somewhere I wouldn't have accepted before. I am realizing I can hold negative things I know a person has done in the same breath as I know they are anchoring me into the moment. I am so so raw but I want it to work, in the sense that I don't ever want to feel estranged from my heart-friends, even if our paths are no longer together I want to cheer my ex-lovers on! I want to be a supportive person and feel confident about my support people. I want to know in my soul that you will have my back even if we never talk after this. I want to wake up with the ghost of your hand lingering on my hair.

Aug 30, 2021 - 1:06PM

if you see this post yr encouraged to take this survey: https://tiny.cc/acab

Aug 29, 2021 - 11:56PM

I'm worried my doctor is gonna make me stop eating fun foods :(

Aug 29, 2021 - 9:48PM

"queerer than a box of birds"

Aug 29, 2021 - 5:39PM

I'm from EN. E. DOUBLEYOU. jerz

Aug 28, 2021 - 9:15AM

i knew it was serious when they took my passport + locked the door

Aug 26, 2021 - 2:50PM

IF I DIE IN CUSTODY AND THEY CALL IT A SUICIDE JUST KNOW THAT IT WASN'T AND THEY KILLED ME

Aug 26, 2021 - 2:37PM

just ate a wawa sandwich + drank a tim hortons coffee @ the same time 🙏😇🙌

Aug 26, 2021 - 2:34PM

"activation time is 60 min" bi t ch i'm ILL

Aug 26, 2021 - 1:49PM

the bass hits different when yr not here

Aug 24, 2021 - 5:56PM

I FELL IN LOVE / IN THE BACK / OF A COP CAR

Aug 24, 2021 - 5:54PM

"my identity by itself causes violence"

Aug 24, 2021 - 1:39PM

A BAD BITCH

GAVE ME BOMB HEAD

TO BAD BRAINS

[run the jewels]

Aug 23, 2021 - 11:56PM

falling asleep sitting up dreaming about praying in my pastor's voice

Aug 23, 2021 - 1:04PM

"you'd hate a cop car too if you ever had to sit in the back of it" [dae zhen]

Aug 22, 2021 - 8:10PM

did some math & i'm p sure i'm now 6 months alc. sober

(:

Aug 21, 2021 - 5:01PM

hmmm looks like today's gender is "crying in the laundromat"

Aug 13, 2021 - 11:07AM

fuck: bro

marry: bruh

kill: bra

Aug 09, 2021 - 12:20AM

read a letter today from someone on death row who is rapidly going blind + is being ignored by all the prison doctors, who he says have basically given up on him, + not to put too fine of a point on it, but that's why i hate anyone who works with prisons or cops, even if they don't see themselves as cops; they're just as complicit in upholding the dehumanization of individuals in the system.

Aug 05, 2021 - 2:01PM

i really frICkeED iT Up ThIs tImE didn't i my duuUUUuude

Aug 05, 2021 - 1:59PM

goob mourning

Aug 02, 2021 - 5:35PM

chopsticks are also tiny drumsticks

Aug 02, 2021 - 3:34PM

if Wicked (the book) and Bojack Horseman were in the same universe, that would account for how a feral baby existed in that episode about Hank Hippopopalous and thusly bit him on television (also i was that feral baby)

Aug 02, 2021 - 3:32PM

roses are red

the thin line is blue

your bosses & landlord

don't care abt u!!!!!!!!!!!

Jul 31, 2021 - 11:37PM

i am the family emergency

Jul 31, 2021 - 11:32PM

fuck: shit-talking

marry: pillow-talk

kill: emotional labor

Jul 26, 2021 - 11:40PM

????i keep pulling the lovers card and yet????!!!??nO lovers:(

Jul 26, 2021 - 2:29PM

I.

the astrologers in their infinite mercy

only cluck at my cards this time

II.

we all know i’ll skip a party to wait for

a text that doesn’t happen

III.

i’m not making my bed i haven’t in weeks

i’m just lying in it

IX.

i came out when poets still listed the states

we were allowed to consummate

marriage in and the crowd chanted

their contrapuntal traumas back

to us

Jul 26, 2021 - 2:16PM

one time i read something that said "​whenever i feel uncomfortable in public i write i really gassed up missed connection about myself and feel better" and its truly stuck w/ me as a self-care tactic

Jul 26, 2021 - 2:15PM

​multiple small birds keyboard smashing to funky jamz

Jul 26, 2021 - 12:11AM

some reimagined words i like:

traggot (trans+faggot)

vant (vent+rant)

bussy (boy-pussy)

jort (short jeans)

svp ('pls' but french)

anartist (anarcho-artist, can be deg. or not)

shants (either 'shall nots' or 'shit pants')

jockey (wearing jeans while playing hockey)

Jul 25, 2021 - 2:58PM

IN TRANNY JAIL PEOPLE WHO HATE ME WILL SHARE THEIR CIGS WITH ME

i don't even like cigs but

around the fire we are all the same kind

of faggot /

there are liberals who think the solution to

overcrowded prisons is building

more prisons

then sorting the trannies out of regular jail

and putting them in a newly built

tranny jail

and in tranny jail,

we're gonna lift weights and compare shitty tattoos

in tranny jail,

people who have beef with me probably still

have beef with me and i wonder

all the time if we're all

in tranny jail together,

will we finally uplift each other?

will tranny jail make us kinder animals?

(we'll never know b/c if they get enuf of us in a cell we'll bang down the bars)


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